break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
