It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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