only if we run a train.
done.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
