Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
