Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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