The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
