So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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