I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
