This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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