real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
