"it" just moved
grandma shit on top of the toilet
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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