I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
