Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Can I color on your dick again?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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