I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
