kristin has been a bad kristin
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
