he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
