Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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