do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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