I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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