She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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