1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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