I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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