So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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