Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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