2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize