I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
