No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
