She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
