I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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