Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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