Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
