Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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