it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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