Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
