Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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