Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
