barbara walters just said penis...
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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