i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
