you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
