At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
