I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
