Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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