well you can't waste a boner
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
