if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
