that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
