well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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