Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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