I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
