He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
