I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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