Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Slut skills are useful in every country.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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