I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
