She's JV to your varsity
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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