You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She told me I should be a condom model.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
