You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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