I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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