wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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