I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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