Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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