We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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