Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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