elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
